My worlds came crashing together last week.  As many of you may know, I am the facilitator with Youth Talk and work with students who are interested in suicide prevention and awareness. In another capacity, I facilitate presentations and workshops about internet safety for youth with my business partner at Safe Futures Canada.
Last week, a 20 year old girl took her life. Her facebook status was her suicide note.
This, to me, is very alarming.  My colleagues and I spent some time looking at her wall and perusing her profile, we came to realize that she was very clearly reaching out for help. Over the course of a week, she repeatedly, expressed her sadness and directly asked for help. “you will all be better off without me….thanks to those of you who cared…goodbye”, were some of the words in her status.  It has been a very sad week for many people who cared about her.  In addition to this young lady, my community has been shaken by violence and we have all witness an outpouring of grief on Facebook.
As a trainer who talks about internet safety and has a need to stay current on the topic of Social Networking, I took an interest in the dynamic of grieving on-line. Unfortunately, I have had a great amount of exposure to grieving teens on-line but did not seem to put much thought into it. The display of grief and sadness of Facebook has been an interesting one. 
On someone’s wall, people appear to be sending their respects and speaking directly to the person who has passed away. There is a sense of obligation to write RIP on the wall.  In a group however, people seem to be a little more open and encouraging of each other’s comments.  It is a place to share stories, talk and learn about funeral details.  While looking at both areas, it became clear that young people are not supporting each other.  They are quick to criticise if someone miss-steps however, it is rare to see “I know how you are feeling” or “I am sorry for your loss” or even ”hang in there” Traditionally, people gathered together to grieve, in person.  A hug, a handshake or a reassuring smile is what most of us need when we face a loss. It’s difficult to hug someone on facebook.
 The need to acknowledge your loss and support others can be achieved on-line; I only take issue with the lack of reaching out to support one another. It is not the same, nor will it ever be again.  Social Networking has become the primary form of communication today and we all must learn to use it wisely. I believe we can do this. If you are someone who has been touched by grief and are expressing your sadness on-line, please take a moment to tell someone that you understand how they feel, that you support them or how you are feeling.  Supporting each other means talking to each other. Everyone will experience grief in their own way and expressing feelings and showing support on-line can be very helpful. It may be a strange concept to some but can truly be a healing process for others. If this is a new means to grieve, then, let’s support the process and those who chose to use it.

Lastly, If someone you know has a sad status, sounds down or is reaching out for help…post on their wall, text them or call…you could save someone’s life today. RIP Kristen

 Sonia McDonald